Accepting Change

I think I'm like the only one who hasn't posted something about Christmas. I guess it's because right before Christmas we found out Patrick is getting medically discharged. At the moment I got a little frustrated with life. I knew it was coming and I thought I was ready but I guess I figured we'd get the good results out of a medical discharge which is a medical retirement. However, that didn't happen. He is being medically separated which means no benefits post-military life for the family.

I'm okay with it now. No. Honestly, I am. But that's just now. The first week or two I was pretty negative. I am a planner and researcher and have to learn everything I can about whatever has my interest at the time. So after we heard the news, I searched all things that had to do with state healthcare, private insurance, social programs for the disabled, etc. I got SO OVERWHELMED with the costs of healthcare, that I started planning and charting the type of jobs and incomes we would need to maintain a certain lifestyle while paying for Ryan's medical care. I seriously have a problem.

My problem isn't my tendency to plan but that I try to take things into my own hands. Once I have an idea of how things should go, I have a problem accepting any other solution. I wasn't even thinking of the impact it was having on my husband. Instead of asking him how he was feeling, I would just throw facts at him like, "Did you know that some insurances charge $75 for an ER visit?!?!" or "Everytime we go to the doctor we have to pay at least $10-$40?" Yeah it may sound silly to some of you but for a military family who pays nothing and receives thousands of dollars in care, services, and equipment, it's hard to imagine.

I eventually learned that I was wrong. I should've been a support and encouragement to my husband while giving up our situation to God before freaking out. Once I finally did that, my whole attitude changed. It's not that I think it'll be easy now because it's not. But I'm not going to complain or be anxious about it. I'm going to focus on being positive and flexible to wherever this new life takes us.

I've learned to be thankful. And why not? God has done nothing but take care of us. He has never failed us or left us. Why would He start now? If His way of providing is awesome jobs and great health coverage--wonderful! If not, still great! As long as we're in His will, what else could be better? Yeah, sometimes His will leads us through some hard times, but there's always something good that comes out of it.

I am at peace about our discharge now. Thank you for your prayers and support! Our family will continue to need it.